JoeRamos

HOLA RAZA!!!This past Thanksgiving Day, after feasting on the ‘traditional’ Turkey and Dressing with all the trimmings, we managed to get all or most of the Revolution Gorillas to meet at our office for our eventual departure to that hub of Southwestern Culture, Ozona, Texas! But before I tell of our travel to Ozona and other places; a couple of words about traditions, or rather one particular Christmas tradition; ‘Giving’. I can recall a time many years ago here in Austin, that Mi Momma took us, my late brother Pia and me, to a place where we got what I think was our first pair of dress-type leather shoes. They were a nice, shiny brown, with laces I think, and since Pia and I were unaccustomed to wearing shoes and had gotten used to going barefoot, it was a new experience for us!

I guess since we’d spent our first few years of our existence living out in the country near Sugarland, Texas, ‘Ama (we called my Mother ‘Ama’!) was just getting us ready for our eventual induction into the Austin School System, or just trying to get a little bit of the ‘country’ that was in us…out! (I thought we were doin’ ok…?)  But anyway, the ‘store’ where we got our shoes was ‘The Salvation Army’ store! They gave us New Shoes! Free! No Cost! They were real nice but weren’t an exact fit, and soon after, I remember I got a painful blister on my right upper foot from wearing them, so I cut a piece of shoe-box cardboard and inserted it in the blister area between the leather and my foot, and I was good to go! And we didn’t know enough to be embarrassed or ashamed of Salvation Army shoes! Nor were we embarrassed when she bought us the same exact pink and black shirts because Levin’s or Groners department store on 6th street had ‘em on ‘sale’!  And when I attended Govalle Elementary in East Austin, I was given a ‘card’ of a brown-tan color with some writing on it that when I presented it and a ‘dime’ to the lady behind the counter in the school cafeteria, allowed me to select from the variety of good foods that I would’ve otherwise missed out on!  We didn’t know it was ‘charity’!  And because someone was kind enough to give to an organization that gave to us, we survived to live and love another day! So Raza, if you have the extra time and/or the money, give some of it to others, it’ll go far to inspire a child to be and do good! And give money to the Salvation Army bell-ringing Santa near the Walmart (that’s where I saw him!)! Look at me; I got some free stuff as a kid, and now, I can almost go a whole song without missing or playing too many wrong notes! And when I do miss notes, they are ‘Harmonically Melodic’ wrong notes!  Look ‘em up!   No’ombre, Shaddop!!!

Ok Raza, since I mentioned one tradition, I’ll just mention a few others that may take place around your family and friends! Traditions like: making ‘Tamales’ and ‘Bunuelos’ with ‘Chocolate (pronounced ‘Cho-Co-La-Teh’) Caliente’ and Café (Coffee) and possibly a Cerveza or two..; Opening gifts on Christmas morning; ‘Kissing under the Mistletoe’; Baking Christmas Cookies and letting the kids do most of the work; Going Caroling from house to house on Christmas Eve; Sitting around drinking Egg Nog (plain or ‘spiked’!) and having friendly discussions about, Religion, War, and Politics; Putting up a Christmas tree and lights; Making a noisy ‘ruckus’ with tin cans (Good word, look it up!) on the roof and telling the kiddos that Santa is checking up on them; Eating some Christmas Turkey, Ham or a nice Roast; Driving around and looking at other home’s outdoor Christmas decorations; and Visiting friends and relatives! If y’all have some traditions that are different and unique to your family, I’m sure we’d all like to know of ‘em! Oh, the most important one: Praying and thanking God for what we are soooo fortunate to have! I do this last one daily, Raza, as do most of you, I’m sure!  No’ombre, Shaddop!!!***

A Shout-out to cousin Julie Perez, daughter of my Tio (Uncle) Pascual ‘Cualico’ Perez!!! ‘Tio Cualico’ is how we knew my guitar-playing uncle when he was still living at home with my ‘Amagrande’ (Grandmother) on E. 11th street in Austin, and I was to learn later that the name ‘Cualico’ started out as ‘Pascualito’, and us kids evolved it into ‘Cualico’!  He played the first ever ‘blues’ chords on his guitar that I ever heard, and I think that it stayed with me until today! So, if you hear a ‘Major chord with the flatted 7th note’ in place of a regular major chord in some Polka, blame it on Tio Cualico, for he was a good one!!!  No’ombre, Shaddop!!!********

Ok, now then, we took off for Ozona on Thanksgiving Day, around 2:00 p.m. and since I’d experienced the scenery on this Hwy 290 route many, many time before, I sort of closed my eyes and imagined what folks that don’t have to travel were doing on this day of giving thanks.  Things like, cleaning preparing the house for guests, ‘paring’ (Good word, look it up!) apples for a homemade Apple pie, gathering with family and friends, keeping the kids busy and out of the kitchen, making Guacamole, Salsa and other dips for ‘La Vesita’ (Visitors!).  Right about 2 hours into our trip, someone needed to ‘water the flowers’ and so we stopped in Segovia, a lone but nice truck stop on I10.  I cashed in $15.00 dollars worth of scratch offs that I’d obtained in another one of these dens of ‘inequity’ (Good word, look it up!) called ‘convenience’ stores that lie in wait for unsuspecting victims such as the Revolution Gorillas; and bought some of the new $2.00 Veteran scratch offs, and I didn’t win a single penny!  I keep buying these because the proceeds go to a good cause! Our drummer Chris bought some of the other kinds and also did not win! As Pia used to say, “They’ve got a Roll of Losers in that place!

Anyway, we continued on and finally made it to Ozona and at the very first exit, saw an Ozona Inn/Best Western sign, stopped, compared rates, checked in and got ready for our show that night. We had but a couple of hours before we had to be at the venue, but since it was right next to the Inn, we had time to relax for a while. We had an opening band whose name I didn’t catch, but I think they were good because everyone stayed while they played…and that’s always a good sign!   The Ozona Convention Center is a large square building with tables on each side and bandstand in the middle at one end.  We started our first set to much dancing, which is always a good omen of a good musical night to come!Since there’s no beer to be purchased inside this place, just about everyone that came walked in rolling their ice chest behind ‘em, so consequently, everyone had a great time! Anytime folks can enjoy a band and pretty much drink cerveza for half-price or better, they have a good time!Anyway, we had a great time and after our last note, I had but to put up my guitar and walk back to my room, change clothes, watch a little TV, and sleep!   Que Suave!

The next morning, after rising to the deafening sounds of ‘Ozonian silence’, I learned that immediately after our gig the previous night, a couple of our Gorillas went in a night ‘Food-scavenging’ expedition! And though they ended up eating ‘road-kill’ at the local inconvenient convenience store, they spotted a likely out-of-the-way Mexican restaurant, closed at the time, that showed all outward appearances of a place late-rising musicians might want to frequent on the morning after a gig! And so that Saturday morning at checkout time from the Ozona Best Western and before heading out in the direction of Odessa, we threw our chincherillo of suitcases, clothes bags, fruit baskets, pine cones and other Gorilla road ‘paraphernalia’ into our electric-blue trailer and went in search of this ‘Ozonian’ oasis of possible savory gourmet delights, (‘Ozonian’ Oasis of Possible Savory’…spells ‘OOP S’…!).  We found the restaurant, parked, sent a ‘scout’ to see if service for 14 was possible.  It supposedly was, so we went in and with only 3 other customers in the place, we figured on some good, fast breakfast!  The time was 11:15 when we got the menus, which had a handwritten note on top of page one of this 2 page menu:

NO BREAKFAST AFTER 11:00 A.M.

On the bottom of the same page was written:

BREAKFAST AFTER 11:00 WILL COST EXTRA!

“Hang the expense” I thought, “I’m having breakfast!” So, we asked the waitress, who was the only visible employee of this place:“Do you have breakfast?” “No Breakfast after Eleven!” Since the promise of an influx of cash from 14 customers usually has enough clout to sway most restaurants to ‘bend’ the rules in favor of the customer, we again asked: “You’re not serving breakfast?” “No breakfast after Eleven!” came the reply from the waitress as she scurried around, getting everyone’s drink orders. ‘Breakfast’ was the whole contents of page 1 of the 2-page menu! On page 2 were the more expensive dinners, and I suppose that the collective behind-the-scenes reasoning of the waitress, the cook, and the manager, who might’ve been one and the same person, was that 14 times the expensive dinners is more than 14 times the cheaper breakfast! Not only that, but the fact that the dining choices in Ozona at that time being this cozy little restaurant and Convenience-Store-Roadkill, they probably figure that we were pretty much a ‘Captive Band of Gorillas’! “What do you want to drink?” came the question with a ‘Spanish’ accent. “Coke, Coke, Dr Pepper, Coke and water, Coffee”. Being that ‘noon’ for most people is like 8:00 a.m. for musicians, I opted for Coffee and still hoped we could get breakfast somehow.  She didn’t write anything down and left with a half-puzzled look on her face that I attributed to indigestion or some other ailment.  I looked around and noticed many sports photographs on two of the walls, of probably local figures, with the 3rd wall being the entrance and windows.  I wheel my chair around and quickly noticed that against the 4th wall was a large refrigerator with a glass front that clearly displayed an assortment of soft drinks and juices!  And installed in front of this cooling apparatus was a large sign with HUGE, bright blue letters: ‘SELF SERVICE DRINKS’ Thus the puzzled ‘I guess these idiots can’t read’ look on our waitresses face! I then figured that since hot coffee had to come from the kitchen, I would get my drink first. As she set down the Cokes and Dr Pepper, she said: “I’m making your coffee” and walked away. That’ll Larn Me! I got my coffee, brightened it with packets of powdered cream, slurped a bit of it, momentarily entertained the thought of the chances that they’d have some ‘Honey’ to sweeten my coffee, (I use Honey for my coffee whenever I can) decided in the negative, plunked down $1.00 dollar for my coffee, walked out and went back to the van.

About 30 minutes later, the rest of the group came out, we left and stopped for gas at the convenience store, where a small side-deli provided me with 2 pieces of chicken, some corn and green beans and a roll; all for less than $5.00! Muy Bueno! Everyone loaded up with chips, drinks and scratch offs and we headed west on I10 in the direction of Odessa. 

 We traveled until we turned off on the wrong exit, our phone-computer GPS stopped GPS-ing, and we got lost for a bit.  After a short bout with ‘road-confusion’, we found our correct exit and proceeded into the beautiful part of west Texas that is just dotted with ‘Mesas’! Muy Elegante! We came to and passed the small town of Mcamey, Texas and continued on until we came to the thriving metropolis of Crane, Texas! As we drove through this town, I spotted the one highlight of the day for me, which was the sign at the local Dairy Queen that read: “BUZZARD FLAVOR OF THE MONTH!” Apparently the wind had blown the ‘L’ and the ‘I’ in the word ‘BLIZZARD’ together to form a ‘U’, changing the word from ‘Blizzard’ to ‘Buzzard’! We continued on and finally arrived in Odessa and checked into a local Motel 6! Whoopee! Spare-No-Expense-Productions! 

 Once in our rooms, my roomy trumpet player ‘Mike’ and I noticed a faint disturbing odor of what smelled like an overflowing ‘septic tank’ emanating from some unseen source, and it lingered. Later when I took a shower and was toweling off, I noticed the smell in the shower! As I looked down, I found the source to be the shower drain! YUK!  Our room wasn’t singled out to enjoy this odor, as the other Gorillas complained of the same smell.

Anyway, we did our gig at a place called Los Arcos, along with the Castillo brothers from Austin.  All I can recall from that night’s gig is that the audience was small but enthusiastic, the sound was ‘boomy’ and the P.A. system SUCKED BIG TIME! (It was grossly inadequate!)   Maybe next time, if there is a next time.  No’ombre, Shaddop!!!

Fast forward to the next day, Raza.  I woke up, walked to the convenience store for coffee and a muffin and sat in our van and waited for the rest of our ‘entourage’ (Good word, look it up!) to regain consciousness.  They did, and we took off toward Fort Worth and our gig at Our Lady of Guadalupe Catholic Church Hall for a Christmas Party!  Mucha Raza! Tables beautifully decorated, the place was full, and except for some temporary sound glitches, the P.A. was great! And, we got to enjoy some ‘Stump The Band’ moments with my little brother, Alfonso Ramos!  Ok, he’s older, but I’m taller! The song I liked that Al did is a bolero called ‘La Puerta’ which he did, with Fabian taking a nice solo in the middle!

The crowd was very very enthusiastic and the dance floor was filled on each and every song!  A Great Christmas Party, and except for the fact that we didn’t play one, single ‘Christmas’ song, everything else went ok! As we were finishing up for the night and before our last ‘salvo’ (Good word, look it up!) of Polkas, a lady came up to me and said:“Hey, This is a Christmas Party, aren’t you gonna play ‘Amarga Navidad’?”“You have to ask him” I said and pointed to brother Ruben!“You don’t know it?” she asked“No” I lied, “Ask him” again pointing in the direction of El Gato!“But it’s a Christmas Party” She kept harping at me, like I had an ‘ASK ME, I CAN HELP’ sign pasted on my person. “Alfonso! Alfonso is the one who knows the song! He’s over there…! ” I said as I pointed to an obscure area of the hall that might harbor Alfonso and would lead her to him and away from me! She just went back to her table and sat down. The thing is, Raza, ‘Amarga Navidad’ means ‘Sour Christmas’ and tells of someone that doesn’t want to start the Christmas and the New Year with the same partner!  Not what I’d term a ‘Jolly’ Christmas song but possibly ‘apropos’ (Good word, Look it up!) in some cases! But I suppose that if you’re hired to play at a Christmas Party, you ought to play at least ONE Christmas song, don’t ya think?  I’ve been doing the ‘Polka-til-you-Puke’ gig for quite a few years, and the only respite from the usual, is Christmas Time! New year’s has Auld Lang Syne, Valentine’s Day has ‘My Funny Valenitine’, Easter has ‘Here Comes Peter Cottontail’, July 4th has some Marching music, and Thanksgiving has ‘Turkey in the Straw’, but Christmas has an endless supply of great songs; some of which are on our Christmas CD, which may or may not be available!

Anyway, we finished, loaded up, and since Alfonso had driven from Austin on his own, I packed my chincherillo in his trunk and drove back with him.  I jumped in the back seat and enjoyed a peaceful, dreamy ride while Alfonso played his Jose Alfredo Jimenez CD! Quite an ‘Ador-apple’ ride! Yes, simply ‘Ador-apple’!  No’ombre, Shaddop!!!

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Well Raza, we made it this far, we might as well stick with it and go all the way! Christmas is just around the corner and 2010 not far behind that!  Here’s the schedule for this coming weekend, possibly starting Thursday, weather permitting:

Thursday—Los Flames —-Gueros Taco Bar and Cantina featuring Ernie Garibay!

Friday——-The Mexican Revolution—Graham Central Station in San Antonio

Saturday—-The Mexican Revolution—Dallas, Texas along with Alfonso Ramos

********PRAY FOR OUR SOLDIERS!!!PRAY FOR OUR VETERANS!!!********

HASTA NEXT WEEK, RAZA

CUIDENSE Y PORTENSE BIEN!!

POR HAY LOS WACHO!!!BABY, BABY, BABY!!!

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